Asking and Accepting
Exploring themes of trust and vulnerability, vision-impaired Sailing Captain, Charlotte (Year 12), challenged the perception that asking for or accepting help is a sign of weakness or a burden.
Each week, our Student Leaders share their insights with their peers in Assembly.
Good morning, I’m Charlotte, and I’d like to ask for your help.
Imagine we’re walking to our seats in a dimly lit theatre, and I ask to stand on the left to make it easier for me. Would you help me? I can almost guarantee that pretty much everyone in this room answered, “Yes”. You may have wondered: “Why?” But you still said, “Yes”.
Now, I’m going to ask again, but first, with some context. The hand railing is on the left, and I have a vision impairment, meaning I can't judge where the steps are. So, standing on the left would really help me. Will you switch sides with me? If you would help, please raise your hand. Thank you! That’s actually quite flattering.
But I have to confess something: I would hate to ask you for help. Don’t get me wrong—I know you're lovely and would help me in a heartbeat—but it's more than likely that I wouldn’t ask.
So many people, including me, don’t ask for help when they really do need it. Why do we do that? Well, I don’t ask for help because I don’t like the thought of inconveniencing you, don’t want to intrude, and don’t want to be a burden.
Why do I think like that? You wouldn’t have minded – no one wants me falling down the stairs.
I think we need to reframe this. In asking for help, I’m saying that I trust you, know you’re a caring person, and that you are willing to invest some of your time in helping me—and I'm so grateful for that.
The next time someone asks you for help, I invite you to take it as a compliment. It means they trust you.
Now I want you to look around at all these people who would have helped me, and I want you to know they would help you too.
Another reason we shy away from asking for help is that it's embarrassing. But it is even more embarrassing to fall down the stairs. So, next time, I will cop it and ask you, “Can we swap places?”
Will you also be willing to ask when you need help?
I’m always here. And look around. If we give them the chance, there are hundreds of other people who are also willing to help.
I will now walk down the stairs, fingers crossed. Thank you.